2:26 AM Saturday, September 27, 2008
oh no.... you know wat ?? i cannot get to sleep early at all....i cant fall asleep until its 3 plus in thee morning....:( i really wanna feel sleepy now becoz.... 1) i cant think of anything to do to keep me occupied but yet i cant fall alseep...2) everybody is asleep ...except for mi....you know if i sleep real late at night... then i will wake up slightly later...and so if i wanna go out or something or if i wanna get something done... it will be real late...:( and im starting to work next month... aha... i can earn $$ le... coz during my trip in hongkong... i really vomit blood... spend too much.... buy too much things when i can bloody find it in singapore... ;0...since im still not sleepy yet...why dont i just talk about sth ..that i always want to...but really have no time.... let mi start........i don if this qn have ever come across your mind... but it always does when it comes to mi.... ''have you ever think about wat's going to happen when you're dead.... !! imnot talking about recarnition... neither am i talking about your spirit cant find her way to heaven... or lost in the middle of her road to heaven.... something not so into that......i always wonder.... if im dead someday..or at the very next minute.... how to let my not very close friends know.. ?? you know.... some times when people are dead... not everybody know ....becoz its not on the papers....or watever...news ?wat if the dead want everybody to be at her funeral but not everybody is there... quite sad....and the make up... im always scare about that part..becoz i relly don want some really red lips and super think powder.... and a really red blush.... and so you see.... you think dieing means you don have to worry a shit..?? i worry about everything after death..even to the extend of whether to make it to a christian type or buddist types... although at these very moment im not really believing in these.... .. and so now... i will list down the things i want it to be done when im dead... im serious.... 1) notify all my friends ....everybody that i know ... that my last wish is for them to attend my funeral....2) no super thick makeup.... use my cosmetics nobody else... and remember to put on my fake lashes... thank you !!3)plz make my funeral in a christian way....coz i i believe in god more than the chinese god(i forgot the spelling of the word for these describion....sorry)4) emm...burn ?? bury?? okay ...i really couldnt make up my mind for these.... so.... my family members can decide... burning ...is quite painful..although i don feel it physically but i feel it emotionally.... bury ??... im scare of worms.... and watever insects.... :(...touch wood first... coz i think its not very nice to say these type of things... but you know.... the most unexpected happen at the most unexpected moments and you cant forsee the future.... its safer these way.... ..ps. i really feel quite uncomfortable after typing these... i really feel sicked....pps. okay... i will try to get some sleep now.... if not i will have to read my new book....fashion babylon..:)ppps. im sorry if i have too much spelling errors .... sorry... pppps. good nite babies...with lots of love,xuan (misskwok)