feeling really sick now... suppose to be working now..but i left right after my colleague reach the counter..i cant stop crying at the counter .. i hate to fall sick ..i hate to feel weak and helpless...... wanna see the doctors but all the clinics is either close or packed with patients... i really dont have the patience to wait... so might be going to the clinics again to try my luck later when the sun goes down... !!

never felt so sick before.. my throat is giving mi so much problems... swollowing saliva hurts like shit ,you really need lots of courage to swollow it down you know..!!!!...and now even turning my head seems to hurt...im not exggerating okay... you have to get throat infection in order to understand how it feels... if you wanna get a feel of it..i dont mind sharing a glass of water with you..!! (but im not sure if it spreads that way..-_-")lozenges is of no help AT all...!! tried painkillers see if it will ease the pain.. but NO NO..!!

im super hungry now..coz i skipped my lunch ..daddy cooked porriage for mi...but im afraid that even eating that hurts so i didn't had that..!! when my dad knows that im sick last night... he was damn worried lah.. and he starts to think why i got sick.. wat i ate wrongly.. and blah blah blah..!! these morning when iwas getting ready to shower..i just stepped inside my dad's room to see if he's around.. he immediately jumped up and ask if im feeling better...daddy love mi and i love him as well... only daddy's love seems unconditional..!! i can never find a man who will love mi just like my daddy..!! *.*
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im starting to realize that in every stages of a r/s... the courting period seems to be the sweetest... becoz both partnes are showing the best side of yourselve ..both of them tends to be really sweet ..as they are not together yet..so of coz they cant start scolding each other and giving each other faces... as they want the other partner to belong to themselve and hence no matter wat happen..you just seems to be able to tolerate all the shits...

but as you get in a r/s , all the nonsenses starts... you start to expect things from your partners.. you set expectations that he/ she needs to meet... and when he/she didn't meet it..you start to curse and curse and curse.. showing attitude is a must to show your unhappiness...and then it leads to ignoring... and then if you are forgiving enough ... u will forgive and apologize but if you're not... then it leads to cold war and finally a break up...!!

and so in order to not have any expectations from your partner...you have to get these little reminder inside your head... " nothing is a must in relationship" .... if your partner give you something that you want...its a bonus...if he doesn't do as you say.. then you have to tell yourselve "too bad"...if you get that little reminder in your head... you will be able to be the perfect lover... becoz no matter in wat situation you will be able to be very understanding and also able to compromise..!! *.*

with love,
xuan **