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Xuan Kwok 19

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当我们愿意给多年的感情多一次机会时，我们到底是想要证明什么呢？

证明我们还相爱？证明我们的感情之是突然出现了问题还是只想证明，确认多一次分手的决定是对的？

4:01 PM Thursday, November 21, 2013

我不想再哭了！不想再当爱哭鬼了！

这几年的我变得爱哭了！我爸爸常说小时候的我并不爱哭，哭得永远都是二姐，可能因为小时候的我太少哭了所以现在我才会哭个不停！

现在的我可以因为很多事情而哭，伤心难过的时候我很自然的就会大哭，受了委屈，被人气爆了我也会哭，看戏时只要有人死了我就一定会哭，哭残了！你心理的 OS 一定是‘为这而哭不是很平常吗？’让我举几个例子你就知道我有多 -。- ！

有一次我在帮男友剪子甲，不知道这么的突然心里觉得有点酸，我便对他说‘突然好难过哦’，他哈了一声，我就哭了，他愣了。他问我‘你哭什么？’，我自己也不知道自己在哭什么！！

还有一次我去吃鱼皮汤，我叫了可是比我晚叫得人都有了食物除了我！我又饿又气，差点就哭了！

有一次我去面试时，主管问我 ‘如果工作压力大时我会做什么？’我便回答说 ‘我会哭’。他又问‘如果你的工作非常不如意，你会这么做？’我说‘我会哭’，他问我是不是很爱哭，我便答说‘我不爱哭，不喜欢哭可是哭是我发泄情绪的最好方式因为哭完了，我就好了。’

有时候我也会因为自己爱哭而觉得很烦，当眼泪不自觉地流下时我也会觉得很无奈。有些时候因为不知道要如何表达自己，不想解释时就只能哭了。

从现在开始我要答应自己不要在轻易掉下眼泪因为是件非常没有面子的事！我一定要坚强，不要再当爱哭鬼了！！：）

PS：以后不管遇到什么事都一定要笑着！

11:06 AM Sunday, July 7, 2013

我在脸书上看到了这个问题 '在感情里适合还是爱比较重要？'，有的说适合但大多数人都说爱。我那时候看了就马上说‘但然是爱重要’。

我那时会那么认为是因为我觉得只要有爱，任何事，任何不满的都能睁一只眼闭一只眼和不顾一切的包容和体谅。在感情里本来就会有不满于不和，当两个完全不一样的人走在一起，磨擦是难免的，他不会事事都配合你，容忍你，他也不可能完完全全的了解你的做事风格和态度所以如果没有爱那这么能一直走下去呢？

可是过了几天当我在想想时，我却有了新的想法。爱会随着时间慢慢流逝，不是说这世界上没有永恒不变的爱情，一定有，肯定有，但是遇到永恒不变的爱情的机会有多大？我能睁一只眼闭一只眼多久？包容多久？一年？一辈子？如果要我包容，容忍一辈子，我觉得是件非常委屈自己的一件事，非常不爱惜自己也是一件非常痛苦的事。为何因为一个人而委屈自己一辈子呢？你可能会说，因为我爱他我可以包容所有，可是你是否知道爱会因为争吵而流逝，会因为很多因数而不爱了？
当你找到了适合的人，很多事情你就不需要容忍，他能体谅你，他了解你，他会配合你，他是一个能补你不足的一个人。
当你想谈恋爱时，你就找个你爱的人。谈恋爱就是要打打闹闹，就是要哭个死去活来，就是要跟朋友说‘他都不懂我’可是因为爱他，所以没离开。当你想要结婚了（就要有理智），想过点安稳平静的生活是就找个适合的人吧！

Love,
XK

4:06 PM Tuesday, July 2, 2013

I used to look follow to start working because that will be the time when i have full control of how i wan my life to be. i'll get to choose which industry to enter, i'll get to request for the amt of salary i think i deserve and i believe that will be the time when i can earn lots of money! :D

But recently i got afraid about graduating... i got afraid because i don't know what lies ahead...n negative thoughts took over my head (bad thing.. negative thoughts brings u nowhere but pull u down). i was scare that i couldn't find my ideal job, get my ideal pay and i'm afraid that i will have to work in a really far place!!!!!

I told my bf about it and he say 船到桥头自然直, told my sis about it and she say its too early to get worry now. both of them are so bad at comforting me..;(

Uncertainty happens a lot of times in our life; be it getting a new job, getting into a r/s or marriage or getting a house( not sure if u r getting the best deal)etc. I guess its pretty normal to feel scare because its a change, a new start and it might be something so new to u that u have never experience before( for my case, its all 3).

Life is exciting because you don't know whats ahead, you don't know what god has planned for u..so here i am trying to overcome my fear of change and i'm gonna start being hopeful of what the future holds for me...;）

Lots of love.

11:34 PM Friday, January 13, 2012

It's my 21st!

21st b'day might be a very big day for most ppl but to me, its just another b'day!

i wanna thank everybody who wished me happy b'day or celebrated the day with me. It really means alot to me, u've shown me tat im not alone, not lonely and im loved by most of u.

i have to say im a pretty terrible person, in terms of character. I'm super short tempered ; i can get irritated by the slightest things, im unreasonable ; i live by my rules and expect everybody to live by them as well, im self centred ; i dont like to be forced to do things that i dont like even if it means upsetting the majority ( i dont give in @ all).

i hate all that part of me but that makes me who i am. im not gonna change for anybody so u either accept me or leave me. Your choice! i have been this way for 21 years and im gonna stay tat way till i feel that i need to improve as a person ( just not the time being) .

will upload more pictures soon!!

XOXO

10:38 AM Thursday, December 29, 2011

I'm coming to realize that i have been spending so much time earning money that i have neglected alot of important things in life. I have been neglecting my friends and love ones, forgeting my role in their lifes!

They have been trying very hard to make our friendship work and last but i didnt help them to make everything work. i rejected numerous 'dates' with them becoz i took up so many work schedule.

i have been putting money on top of alot of stuff , until recently i've realized im losing alot of close friends, friends that once means alot to me.

Dearest friends,

im so sorry for neglecting u guys. Give me some time to reorganize my piorities. i promise very soon i will be there for u guys and lend u the listening ears that u need!

Love,

Xuan.